I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
