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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hahahaha

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  make that 40.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.

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• (212): View more from New York

  He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I'm the Oprah of jello shots

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm not coming to work today because tequila

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.

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