I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
