I wannas sexs uuuuu
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
