I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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