I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
