Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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