Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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