I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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