I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
