Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
