We won't sleep together?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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