Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
