So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
