I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
