she looked like the bat from fern gully.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
