No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize