how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
