I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
babies were throwing up all over the place
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
