If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
