If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
its not stalking. its research.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
