I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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