And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
