Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
