you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
