So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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