I accidentally burped into my bong.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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