as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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