dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
