Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
