Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
