O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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