So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
