He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
