He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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