ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
