you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
