Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
