My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
