"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it glows. i had to have it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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