Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
