Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
