dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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