you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
