Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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