I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he thought i was a dude.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
