For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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