I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
