I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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