No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
