I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
