Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
